IRENE: The Little Hurricane That Could

"I think I can! I think I can!"

Hurricane Irene. She ought to be ashamed of herself. Why? You see, I'm a Florida girl and have survived a Category 4 hurricane so anything less than that is just a little ole' rainstorm with some wind-a-blowin. So her weak performance over the weekend proved that she was indeed the worst excuse for a hurricane I've ever seen.

Irene became a blip on our radars about a week ago. She whipped up into a nasty little Category 3 storm that set her sights on the east coast. Quite a pucker factor for The Carolinas through New England since none of these folks have seen a hurricane since Isabel a few years back. In traditional Navy fashion, no real concern was shown until about 48 hours before she was scheduled to arrive. Then it turned into an all out "holy-shit-get-the-F***-out-of-here" mass exodus. Therefore, 2nd Fleet fled the area on Thursday. By Friday night Irene had been downgraded to hit VA as a Category 1. Drats! I was counting on her to wreak enough havoc so that I could be flooded into my apartment for a few days and not have to go to work on Monday.  B stocked us up with enough water and snacks to last a week so we were certainly ready... and then the disappointment came slowly ashore.

"As you can see, conditions have begun to deteriorate"

First, we got our fill of screaming news reporters during breakfast. One of which included a streaker. Full frontal and all! The storm really wasn't that bad, but of course it's just awful when you've buried your feet in the beach sand, are shouting into the microphone, and we can't even see you- just a dark silhouette amidst a lot of wind and water. Seriously? You look really dumb standing in that kind of weather telling everyone on TV how dangerous it is and that they should really stay inside. Well, we're watching you act crazy. So why don't you come on in!!!

Irene caused her less-than-extreme havoc from Saturday on through the wee hours of Sunday morning. Torrential rain, somewhat gusty winds, gloomy gray skies, and panicky news reporters. B and I had ourselves a little Mad Men marathon all day.  The last time I spent all day in front of the TV was in 09 and I was super drugged up thanks to my wisdom teeth extraction. But this past Saturday [sadly] was not spent in a narcotic-laced-ice-cream haze. I was instead hiding from the storm with B, doing laundry, sipping cocktails, and glued to the drama of the 1960's Ad exec's and their endless string of cocktails, cigarettes, and illicit affairs...until about 2300. I fell asleep not caring anymore about the storm, wishing I had Joan's wardrobe, and just hoping I wouldn't see my dinner again. Darn you vodka!

In the morning, the sunshine was peeking through the curtains (oof! hangover), the kitties were purring and snuggly, and alas it appeared that Norfolk and the Hampton Roads area was still in 1 piece. All in all, it wasn't a bad experience. We never lost power, ate delicious home cooked meals all day (including peanutbutter-chocolate chip cookies), I finished all of our laundry, and spent some QT with my sweet kitties and B.

Sunday was a beautiful day and led 99% of the HR residents to the conclusion that we'd COMPLETELY OVER PREPARED FOR THIS STORM. Irene was barely a hurricane as she came ashore for pete's sake! As B and I stopped for lunch supplies, I joked that it would be funny if we saw people in line to return water or other items like chain saws and extra batteries. So as we headed into Wal Mart, we walked past their customer service just to see if anyone would do something so ironic. The laughter that commenced was epic. I could barely keep my hands still as I snapped a pic and giggled. There it was. A few cases of returned water and a woman in line with a shopping cart containing a case of Juicy Juice. I'm not judging- but math wise, these people spent more in gas to return the item than they initially spent to purchase them. I think the 'cherry' on this Sunday would have been to see someone standing in line with a bag of half melted ice...drip. drip. drip.

"Yes ma'am. This certainly is the original ice that came in the bag."

*Side Note: Yes, I'm aware there was irreparable damage done by this storm in some parts of the country, but overall- the area I reside in and work in was not nearly as affected as it could have been. My mother was upset that I referred to Irene as a "joke".  But honestly- if a power outage is the absolute worst thing that went down with this storm, I think we can consider ourselves more than blessed that we dodged a bullet.**